Smile: It Can Change The World
This week I have been pondering the value of a smile. I remember writing about this once before. A time, many thoughts ago, when I was flying on top of the world… literally…
I am sitting in a plane listening to the announcement that we are beginning our descent into Singapore. I pull up the flight path. We are traveling at 902km per hour, 672 kilometres from our destination, altitude is 11582 metres. The outside air temperature is -51 Celsius. I left home almost 12 hours ago. I think about these facts for a moment... I have actually been reading the flight details all the way. I find it fascinating somehow. But I also think about how these facts don’t feel all that real to me. I’ve never experienced -51 degrees Celsius and I don’t really have a grid for what that feels like... apart from ridiculously cold!
I think about the book I’m reading. It’s famous. Perhaps you’ve read it? It’s called “How to win friends and influence people”. (And no I’m not writing a review or receiving any kind of endorsement payment!) As I read, I recall reading it before. I remember loving the chapter on the value of smiling. It’s a favourite chapter because my smile is something that I’ve been complimented on many times. It’s a funny thing though... I remember when I was a kid and I lost my cute, little baby teeth. I don’t remember really thinking anything of the adult teeth that replaced them and how they really were much too big for my little mouth. But I do remember the day I became self-conscious about it.
I was in primary school. I remember thinking about my smile. I remember enjoying my smile in my photos from when I was little. I remember thinking about school photos and how I might smile in them. I remember loving other people and enjoying their smiles. I remember admiring the smiles of the girls at school. But. I also remember something I had forgotten. I remember when one of the people whose smile I admired, told me I was ugly. They told me I wasn’t likeable. I haven’t thought about it until this moment. As I sit here and remember, I realise this was when I stopped smiling my big grins... for a season. This was when I thought perhaps those words were true. Perhaps I was ugly? Perhaps I was unlikeable? Perhaps I even thought my smile was wrong somehow?
A funny thing happened though. Some time later I got braces. My teeth were crazy crowded and I needed orthodontic treatment well into my twenties. And yes! I was the girl with the elastic bands that looked weird when I talked, plates that I lost on more than one occasion and headgear. Yes! You heard me! Headgear! (But seriously, who wears headgear in the daytime?) The day the braces went on something happened. I started smiling again. Really big cheeky grins, just like I used to. It was noticeable to other people. They said I was happier all of a sudden.
What was it that had actually happened? My focus had changed. I wasn’t thinking about my teeth. I wasn’t thinking about those words ‘ugly’ and ‘unlikeable’. I wasn’t thinking about those words, because I had let them go.
These were not words that encouraged me to be my best self.
These were not words that inspired and motivated me toward change and transformation. These were not words of kindness and acceptance.
These were not words to carry into adulthood.
And they were certainly not words that I would allow to shape my identity or my future.
As I remember these words so many years later, I find myself praying for this young girl who is now long into her adulthood.
I pray that she knows her identity in Christ and her value and purpose in Him.
I pray that she knows ever increasing joy and happiness and life satisfaction.
I hope that she still smiles that smile I admired all those years ago.
I hope that she smiles encouragingly to strangers.
I hope that she inspires and motivates others toward kindness.
I thank God for my smile and I again commit to my cheeky grins and determine once again to use my smile for good and to brighten up someone else’s day.
There are so many benefits that come with smiling. I am sure you know them, but let’s refresh our memories for a moment:
Our smile can relieve stress through the release of neuropeptides.
When we smile dopamine is released and this plays a role in functions such as pleasure, motivation, and learning.
Smiling can bring mild pain relief as endorphins are released.
Serotonin is an antidepressant, and yes you guessed it, is also released when we smile.
Smiling boosts your immune system and improves your health.
Even when you don’t feel like smiling, simulating a genuine smile can boost your mood.
Smiles are contagious, so your choice to smile impacts the lives of those around you.
Our smile also influences others and their perception of us. We are seen as more attractive, sociable and confident.
While we can make the decision whether to smile or not, scientists believe we are all born with the ability to smile and newborn babies even smile in their sleep.
Smiling is the ultimate communicator of happiness and acceptance, as it is universal across all nations and people groups.
God has always known that smiling is good for us. I glance at the poster on my wall that reminds me of God’s word daily:
“A cheerful heart is good medicine.” Proverbs 17:22
I find myself singing the words of The Blessing, one of the most popular Christian songs of this season:
“The Lord bless you and keep you and make your face shine upon you”
These words are taken from Numbers 6:24-25 and this is a scripture that I have declared often over the past few years. I love this phrase because it reminds me of an encounter I had with the Lord many years ago. I was standing in my kitchen and I became aware of God’s presence with me. I stopped what I was doing and shut my eyes and stilled my thoughts and focussed on God. It was as though God was standing right in front of me, right where I was, and He was looking right at me with undivided attention. As I looked into His eyes I was overcome with emotion because I could see the love that He had for me. The truth of the verse about being the apple of God’s eye was so poignant in that moment and I knew that I was inexplicably and unconditionally and completely loved. As I stood immersed in God’s love, it was as though He began to smile. A smile that made me feel so accepted and full of joy and I heard God communicate to my heart that He was proud of me, like a Dad is proud of His daughter. It felt as though God was making His face to shine upon me and that nothing would ever be quite the same.
You may feel like me as I listened to the announcements on the plane that didn’t really feel true to my reality. So let’s take a moment to imagine what this could look like:
What if we could all be carriers of that same love and acceptance and kindness and grace to the people all around us?
Imagine if we all purposely released the love of God through every smile, knowing that our smiles help join us together in relationship with God and each other.
What if we all smiled at each other and released chemicals in our brain, bringing healing and wellness, joy and strength and maximised our motivation and learning?
Imagine a world, where we choose to see the God-given promise, purpose and potential that God has put inside each one of us and we communicated our acceptance of our gifts with one another and we did so with joy and confidence.
So. I. Am. Wondering.
Are there words from your childhood that changed the way you felt about yourself?
Do you find yourself thinking about those words over and over?
Do you find yourself reacting with difficult emotions and realising that your confidence has been eroded and you have lost your joy?
I invite you to let those words go.
I invite you to let God shine His face upon you and speak His words of love and acceptance over you.
Today is the day of the beautiful exchange.
Today is the day to leave behind the ashes of the past and to embrace the beauty God is holding out to you.
I encourage you to forgive those who spoke words of discouragement over your life.
I encourage you to thank God for the way that He created you and the unique gifts and talents with which He has blessed you.
You know, I was called ugly on more than one occasion. This is pretty ironic. You know why? My name actually means pretty or beautiful! This is who God says I am. This is the word that I declare over myself. What will you declare when those old words from the past come calling?
Lastly…
I invite you to conduct a little experiment. Dale Carnegie, the author of “How To Win Friends and Influence People” challenged thousands of business people to smile at someone every hour of the day for a week and then come back and report. The results? This simple act revolutionised lives. One man said, “I have… eliminated criticism from my system. I give appreciation and praise now instead of condemnation.” It’s the beautiful exchange in action again. The garment of praise for the spirit of heaviness.
Many years ago, when I first read this book, I took the challenge and experimented in my workplace. I made a commitment to smile encouragingly at every stranger and colleague I passed as I walked through the hospital each day. People couldn’t help but return my smile, even though I knew some were in pain, many were worried about loved ones who were unwell and others were busy with the demands of caring for patients. Not only did my smile bring a smile to many faces, but my days and my workplace were increasingly filled with joy and hope and anticipation as my workmates watched on with intrigue!
I think of another Bible verse:
“A glad heart makes a cheerful face.” Proverbs 15:13