I was looking through my photos the other night… or should I say what I thought was left of them?.

I was feeling sad that so many of them were lost. As I grieved the loss, I felt regretful that I had been so slack in downloading my pictures that were obviously so meaningful to me. But at the same time, I began to choose gratitude for the photos I still had. As I looked at a sprinkling of pictures representing the last few years, I began to celebrate and be thankful for the good times. The good times that we’ve had as a family, fun times I have had with friends and some amazing opportunities that have come our way, during a journey, that at times has felt not so fun.

That was all in the night watch. In the wee hours of the morning, (on the anniversary of another loss. The tenth year since we said goodbye to my nana, who was a definite cheerleader on my team). In the darkness I lay. In the darkness, on my own, alone. In the morning I woke to a beautiful, sunshiny day, celebrated birthdays with family and a visit from good friends. And I discovered the photos were back! They were actually probably there all along, just hiding in the ether that is my phone.

 The reflection has done me good. To take some time to stand back and see how God has been present for us all the way through. Over so many years.

 To stop and revisit.

To celebrate and reflect on the important things.

 Time to remember and recalibrate.

Just now I posted on my social media story, a photo of my trip to Singapore. On this day last year, I was on the plane… flying! Knowing God had something for me many miles away from home. It seems ironic with all that’s going on in our world right now that God would talk to me about travel! That he would remind me of what he has for me and where he is taking me in my future. But that’s who God is and what he does. He speaks. And invites us to join him in His hope and His strength and His joy.

 Singapore was a trip that was not on our radar, but became possible as my husband was presented with an opportunity to attend a work conference. As I looked at the photo I posted, I thought about how surprised I was to have enjoyed the trip so very much. Travelling had never really been one of the things prioritised on my “to do list”. And I found myself feeling thankful to God all over again for His goodness in my life.

 A few years ago, I completed studies in Theology and Christian Ministry. A course that not only grew me in the Bible and knowledge, but a course that deep dived into intimacy with God and knowing my identity in Christ and encountering God. An intense two years of study and personal growth that has led to walking into a new found purpose and passion and joy. A course where somewhere along the way, God unveiled within me a limiting belief in my heart. To be honest many limiting beliefs! But today I think about one belief in particular. A belief, of which I had never been consciously aware, let alone articulated.

 

I love to pray and hear what God is saying.

 I love to intercede and join God in what He is doing and declare and decree.

 

I love silent contemplative prayer,

pondering the words of God in the Bible and His words as He speaks to my heart.

 

 I love to practice the presence of God and sit (though most usually a sprawled mess on the floor)

and soak and immerse myself in God’s presence and know and feel God’s heart for me and His world.

 

I love to walk in nature and see God’s handiwork all around me and thank Him and praise Him for who He is

and for what He has done and is doing and for what is yet to come.

 

I love to sing and play the piano and express my adoration back to God in worship and commune with Him as He pours His love into me and over me and all around me.

And as I listen… I love to draw.

At the time during which I was studying, I had a collection of drawings of significant times of encounter with God. As I pondered and reflected on my prayer filled drawings,

I noticed drawings of cars.

 I noticed drawings of train tracks.

I noticed drawings of pathways.

I noticed drawings of hot air balloons and boats!

 

I pondered. I prayed. I quieted my heart.

Was God trying to tell me that He was taking me somewhere?

 As I pondered, I also noticed drawings of events in my life related to travel. And I pondered some more. Then one day it hit me. I hadn’t seen it before. Hadn’t even felt the reality of it in my life. But all of a sudden, I knew it to be true...

I associated travel with loss.

 

When I was three I lived in Papua New Guinea. We had to suddenly fly home to the Royal Children’s Hospital for life-saving surgery for my baby sister. I remember waiting to hear that she was alive and well and would make it.

When we moved to Papua New Guinea, I left behind a Nanna and a Grandad and five aunts and uncles all living under one roof. When we came home to Australia, I had to readjust to a Nana and Grandad who lived apart. No more family Christmases together. No more visiting together. No more together. It felt like my family had broken while I was away.

 When I was five, my Grandma and Grandad went on a holiday to sunny Queensland. Except. My Grandad didn’t come home.  Someone who liked like Grandad came home in a box and I said goodbye as he lay inside it at the front of the church.

In those early years, I experienced travel as loss.

Loss that changed life forever.

 Loss that I couldn’t control.

 Loss that hurt.

A lot.

 

I also remembered every summer holidays going away and expecting the phone call that was bound to come. The dreaded phone call that told us who in our life had died this time. I can remember saying as we left for holidays, “I wonder who it will be this time?”

What was I going to do with all that?

 

I grieved my losses...

And felt the unfairness of it.

And the anger of it.

Anger that someone could drive into my Grandad’s car…and then I was the one who had to live without him.

And I felt the pain of it.

 And how it had shaped me.

 

But then God showed me how He had been there for me through the pain.

How he had comforted me and sat with me and walked with me.

How he was still with me and for me.

How He leads me and guides me and sticks closer than a brother.

How He is a loving Father, who has good things for His children.

 

And I let the pain go.

And I thanked Him for being with me.

 

I thought about how the devil is a roaring lion seeking whom he may destroy.

 I thought about how he is the father of lies.

I thought about how God comes to give us abundant life.

And how the devil only steals and kills and destroys.

 

I pondered.

 

Was there something God had for me that the devil had tried to steal and destroy?

I was NOT partnering with the plan that the devil had for me!

I thought about how God is the God of the beautiful exchange!

He can take what was meant for my harm and turn it to my good!

He can restore us to a place that is better than it ever was before!

 

I looked at my pictures again! This time I was excited.

“God, what do you have for me?”

“Where are you taking me?”

“What is in my future?”

“Where are we going?!”

 

 

I examined my heart.

I looked at those lies and limiting beliefs head on.

I let go of those bitter expectations.

I let go of dread.

 

It’s not that I never went away or travelled. I actually loved going on holidays! But they always felt like so much work. Getting ready and packing. Coming home and unpacking. And all that washing. There was a heaviness, a sense of work that tinged my preparation and sometimes rested on my time away. I was not partnering with that heaviness anymore. It was time for that to go!

And I took back my joy.

I took back my excitement.

And I chose to praise God.

And rest in Him!

 

 

I looked at my pictures again. I looked at the picture of the plane taking off.

I thanked God that the thoughts he thinks toward me are good.

I thanked Him for knowing the plans that he has for me.

I thanked God that he is faithful.

 I thanked God that I can trust him.

 I thanked him that the plans he has for me

are to prosper me and not to harm me.

 I thanked God that his plans are to give me a hope and a future!

And I was ready!

 

God had said the plane would be taking off over the next five years. And he was so right! That’s why my unexpected trip to Singapore was so exciting! This was the trip God had promised me. This was the trip where I knew God would meet me and do something amazing in my life. Something extra good and extra fun! Something that God could only do by taking me on a trip on a plane!!

And God did not disappoint!

 

 

What about you?

What does God have for you today?

What path of pain does God want you to walk out of in this moment in time?

To walk out of the darkness and into his light?

What lies and limiting beliefs is God waiting to unveil to you?

 

It’s time to let go of the limitations that are keeping you from the plans and purposes that God has for you!

It’s time to step into the promises that God has spoken over you! God is eagerly awaiting for you to take his hand and walk into your future full of hope and abundant life!

Remember, God can take your path of pain and turn it into purpose and passion and joy!

 

As I write, I think of an amazing passage of scripture in Romans 5:1-5…

“Therefore, since we have been made right in God’s sight by faith, we have peace with God because of what Jesus Christ our Lord has done for us. Because of our faith, Christ has brought us into this place of undeserved privilege where we now stand, and we confidently and joyfully look forward to sharing God’s glory.

We can rejoice, too, when we run into problems and trials, for we know that they help us develop endurance. And endurance develops strength of character, and character strengthens our confident hope of salvation. And this hope will not lead to disappointment. For we know how dearly God loves us, because he has given us the Holy Spirit to fill our hearts with his love.”

 

This hope will not lead to disappointment!

 I stand on that promise!

Will you stand on the promises God has spoken over your life?

 

Let’s stand together… side by side… warriors of the word… warriors of hope…warriors for Christ!

 

Always remember…

Find your beauty.

Embrace your joy.

Sing your sing.

And together… let’s shine!